Well.. I’m a little late… but I’m here to chat about the new Taylor Swift album. If you are a person that gets irritated or uncomfortable with me matching my personal life to music… you may wanna skip this one because I am gonna bring up some shit up that I haven’t let into my brain for awhile. We are going track to track and discussing some of the lyrics in this album, the feelings they provoke, the memories they unlock, and the serious/unserious lyrics in this album.

BUT FIRST… I’M GONNA BITCH SLAP YOU A BIT.
Some don’t get this album. Most of these folks are the people that started listening to Taylor in her Folklore era and continued on the journey to Tortured Poets Department with the Eras Tour running through the veins. Let’s keep something in mind….Folklore, Evermore, Midnights, Tortured Poets Department was when she was depressed as fuck. By the time Tortured Poets came along she was literally talking about being driven mad and needed to be put away in a mental institution.
Yes… these are all great albums. Maybe some of her greatest writing. People are mad that this new album is a quirky, flirty, bouncy, an unserious/kinda serious pop album. Did you all hit your head? Did you fucking forget that this is the SAME person who sings “Shake It Off”,
“I Forgot That You Existed”, “We’re Never Getting Back Together”. HELLO???? (read that again in Cardi B’s voice) HELLO??? There was albums before Folklore people. Pull it together.
I’m not giving you shit for loving Folklore (this is my favorite album). I’m going to give you shit and shaking my head because you aren’t fucking getting it.
This woman is fucking happy… FOR ONCE! She isn’t depressed. She isn’t heartbroken. She is unbothered. She is not taking shit super seriously. She also gives zero fucks what anyone thinks. So stop your bitching or …just don’t fucking listen to the album.
I’m not a huge “Lover” fan. I don’t whine about it.. I just don’t listen to the damn thing.

Ok. Now that we got the whiny bitches to get mad and leave. Let’s talk tracks, lyrics, and feelings.

TRACKS & LYRICS (and the memories they unlock)
1. The Fate Of Ophelia
This was a great way to start off the album. Usually, I don’t typically love the songs Taylor picks as her first single. I usually feel like they are the weaker one on the album. Not this one.
It brings things full circle right away and tells you how this journey is going to go. The story line: She was drowning “in the melancholy” and she was saved by love. She’s starting to see the world different. A new light that she didn’t know existed. She is experiencing freedom to do things the way she wants to do them. This song is about falling in love not being in love with falling in love. This person just blew her fucking mind and she unexpectedly fell hard.
Let’s pause… Have you ever felt this way before about someone? I think as people get older they may experience this and their heart decides.. yep this is them. This could go great and they may feel the same way or it could go very fucking bad and they could possibly not give a shit about you. It’s such a hard gamble and you have to be so fucking brave to just say the words out loud that you are madly in love with this person. I always say I have an old lady soul. So this didn’t happen to me as I got older but it unexpectedly happened to me when I was pretty young. Falling in love, that young, is probably the most reckless thing you could do with your heart. Taylor writes in Ophelia, ” Locked inside my memory – And only you possess the key” That’s a feeling some of us know… All Too Well. Musically… this song reminds me a bit of her song “I Can See You”. Also, if you haven’t seen the NEW video to this song.. You MUST! It’s fucking amazing. The choreography, staging, direction, sets, costuming, performance, is freaking fantastic! This video will win video of the year.

2. Elizabeth Taylor
This song could have been on the “Reputation Album”. I’m not playing.. this is very Rep.
Taylor has referenced Elizabeth Taylor in Reputation and now she’s back at it again.
Did this song get me clowning for Rep Vault Tracks.. sadly.. yes it did.
Lyric wise it’s a good track. Music arrangement is fucking fire and elevates this track.

3. Opalite
This will end up as a single release. It’s boppy and friggin infectious.
The story: You fuck up and go for the wrong people to try to chase that happiness. Then when you find the one.. the skies open up and a new light shines in. With Travis Kelce’s birthstone being an opal (shout out fellow Libra) this song is just a nod to their happiness but blast their happiness into your ear drums and through your veins. Listening to this song makes me want to be in love with love. That is the best feeling. You’re down or you’ve had a busy day and your phone rings and it’s the person that makes you the happiest. It’s like all your troubles, thoughts, and fears wash down the drain and you are fucking invincible. That first “Hello” or even that memorable “Hey” can ease your mind and bring you to a place of happiness. Talking about it makes me miss that feeling. Not gonna lie. It is one of the best feelings. Taylor is in love, she’s engaged to a man that adores her, and this song exudes glitter pen initials in hearts, butterflies in stomachs, and starry eyes day dreaming of happily ever afters. Lyrically.. sweet. Musically… someone described it best as “Hair Spray” sounding. I can get behind that (even though I think they meant it as a back handed compliment) as a musical theater nerd.. I’m all for it.

4. Father Figure
People have issues with this song. They can’t stand she says “my dick’s bigger”.
I don’t think they are getting it. She is telling a story and you missed it I think.
Long story short ( just in case you don’t know the journey to her master recordings). She basically, got her masters back and she is giving them a big fucking finger. “You want a fight, you found it. I got the place surrounded”. I’m here for that. Fucking fight for your shit girl.
God I hate when men fucking mansplain shit. I have had to deal with narcissistic pieces of shit telling me what I’m worth and treating me like I’m stupid. “Mistake my kindness for weakness and find your card cancelled” That is a baller ass line. Lyrically.. fucking great. Musically… it’s good. It was cool that George Michael got some writing cred for this song.
Is it my favorite? No… but I’m here for the bad ass storyline.

5. Eldest Daughter (the infamous track 5)
For track 5.. I feel like we came out unscathed. Sure it provokes feelings but it doesn’t beat us down like some of the other Track 5’s. Eldest Daughter is a very heart felt reminder to the one you love that you are fucking ride or die (but in a more poetic way). Did I cry? Yes. Being an eldest daughter and knowing what it feels like to want to grab a person by their face and say
“I’m never gonna break that vow. I’m never gonna leave you now” and fucking mean it. Some people go through some dark shit and they are just looking for that fucking light to pull them out. Sometimes, we’re too young or too broken to have the strength to be that for someone but that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t fight like hell for their happiness. We all have our trauma or stories.. but in the end. We make our own happiness if we choose to. You either jump in and swim or you sit on the dock and watch the current take something away. Lyrically… A lyric in this song that gut punched me “And things I said were dumb”. Sometimes we say some stupid shit just to put up walls or try to protect ourselves or others. Meanwhile, what you want to say is on the tip of your tongue, fighting to get out. How badly I wish I was as poetic as Taylor to use the words… you “were raised up in the wild.. but now you’re home”. Damn that’s a good fucking line. Musically… always love a piano heavy tune from Taylor, its flows nice and I love the arrangement. A bittersweet Track 5 was refreshing than the soul crushing Track 5’s we’ve had in the past.

6. Ruin The Friendship
This song definitely sad. It was fun to hear Abigail’s name pop in there.
A song about high school love, falling for a good friend, and regretting taking the chance kissing them. The song takes a quick turn with bad news from home, a flight back, and a funeral. Losing a friend and someone you loved is so fucking hard as it is but having regrets about anything you didn’t say or do .. that’s pretty rough. Lyrically…. it’s bittersweet and vulnerable. Musically.. it’s a bit upbeat for the lyrics but it’s sweet. I don’t listen to this one on repeat. It does make me worried or start overthinking. Regret & Grief are tough.

7. Actually Romantic (this one is pissing people off especially the Brats)
This song is fucking silly and takes a swipe (In a cheeky way) at Charli XCX.
Here’s the thing. Is this song petty? 100% it is. Has she done this before. 100% she has.
If you are going to talk shit and say shitty things .. You’ll probably hear it in a song a year later.
I think it’s funny that this person can talk her shit and then people are upset if Taylor claps back. What the fuck? What kind of rules are these? If you are gonna dish some shit.. you should be able to take it too. People say Taylor’s great at playing a victim yet everyone is ok with feeling sorry for people that talk shit as she’s calling them out.
Sure there are some lines that are petty as fuck in here but ya’ll are bitching about the line “the coke’s got you brave”. Who are you trying to gaslight here? For real. There is a whole reddit board on how much drugs this person does and people commenting that they were smoking crack with her. She sings songs about drugs. And you’re upset because Taylor mentioned the “coke’s got you brave” ?? That’s like someone saying Taylor Swift is a pot head and her getting mad about it … when we know she fucking smokes pot by her lyrics and the videos of her at Coachella. Come on .. let’s get real. Lyrically… cheeky and funny as hell Musically.. simple. The lyrics didn’t need anything else.

8. Wi$h Li$st ( this song fucked me up a bit)
I thought this song was going to be a poppy, Rep coded banger. I don’t know why. Boy I was soooo wrong! This song kinda messed me up. It’s about being able to have anything or everything and you just want that one person. Your past has left you feeling scared about love or having a future with someone but you throw caution to the wind because you fucking love them so much. It really takes me back when I was younger. It’s kinda funny actually. I jumped on a plane and flew to them because nothing else mattered. I could have lost my job. They didn’t want me to go. I had a lot of responsibilities that I had at home.. but I bolted as soon as the first opportunity arrived. He said he needed me there and I went. I don’t even know if I have ever felt the need to be somewhere like I did that day. Much like this song.. they start talking and you start thinking.. I want to be with this person. What do I do? I can’t imagine myself without them. There was a moment in the trip that we were at a mall, that had a wedding chapel which was wild), and this couple came walking out and he turned to me and said “Wanna get married” I knew he was kidding and just trying to be cheeky but how I wanted to say.. “Yes. I want to marry you and be there for you and protect you and dance with you around our home and sing wildly in cars with the windows down.” But I just laughed and smiled at him and I remember looking down at the table and wanting to cry.
He didn’t mean it and it took everything in my power not to break down and cry because I never wanted something so badly in my life. This song made me think of that memory that had been locked away for many many years. I cried my eyes out with this song. It took me there and I was not ready to face that memory or that feeling.
Listening to Taylor sound happy and when she sang ” Have a couple kids, got the whole block looking like you” I knew she meant it. She can have pretty much anything she wants and she says ” Got me dreaming about a driveway with a basketball hoop”. That is fucking awesome.
She is over the moon about him and her happiness makes my heart happy. My dead, cold, desolate heart actually is fucking happy for her. Shit is hard. Sometimes you feel like nothing will work because of all the outside noise or your own fears. The line from this song that I would have loved to say that day in the mall ” We tell the world to leave us the fuck alone, and they do”. But like I mentioned before, when previously talking about Track 1, you can feel all the love for them and you can be brave and yell it out.. that doesn’t mean they agree or want it. That’s when the abandonment issues settle in and make you laugh, smile and look down at the table with the thought of.. I’ll just end up alone anyways. Like I said.. this fucked me up.

9. Wood (this is another song getting a lot of shit )
Is this song casually giving innuendos that Travis has a big dick and they have amazing sex.
Yes. Yes it does. Is that a bit cringe. I mean.. kinda. But fucking men talk about having sex all the time in songs and girls big asses and tits. They talk about Sexin’ You Up, Loving you Down, and all kinds of shit. Cardi B, Meg the Stallion, and more talk about taking it from behind and giving their men head and everyone is like.. that’s cool. Taylor implies, Travis has a big dick and knows how to use it and the Ashely’s and Chad’s are clutching their church pearls.
Good Gravy you Guys. Is the line in the song “His love was the key that opened my thighs” a bit corny? Hell yeah it is. But have you seen these two together? It’s like goofy meets goofy and they just wanna have some fucking fun. They work hard and they want to play hard. What’s the big deal? Lyrically.. cheeky, silly, corny, but fun. Musically.. I swear they are sampling a Jackson 5 song. Do you hear it? Because I hear Jackson 5’s I want you back. I’d like to see the writing credits and if they make reference to it because I think it’s pretty fucking close to that song. Also, can I say this.. So many are bitching about this song and how inappropriate it is. I’m telling you this will be a fucking single. She will make this into a Pinocchio reference and she’ll be like the blue fairy or something and everyone will love it and the radio will open their arms and embrace it. The line about the thighs is the only BIG sexual reference … she can get away with pulling a Pinocchio theme off. AND there have been Pinocchio easter eggs in the New Heights Pod AND Sabrina Carpenters insta posts. Mark my word.. this song will end up on the radio.

10. Cancelled!
I like this song.. it reminds me of Rep. The song speaks for itself. I dig the vibe.
No real notes here. I enjoyed this song a lot.

11. Honey
I guess this song is the least streamed song on the album. I’m kinda shocked by that.
BUT… I love pet names. I’ve had men call me Honey and it didn’t phase me much but I get what Taylor is saying. It melts her every time he calls her Honey. I think that’s so sweet.
I had someone call me Baby a handful of times and the first time he said it I was smitten.
Haha! I honestly just cracked myself up. There was something about the way he said it or how it sounded that would make me weak in the knees like a damn old time movie. It’s cute she is swooning over him calling her that and her working through the emotions of ” oh shit .. I like that”. I enjoyed everything about this song honestly.

12. Life of A Show Girl (featuring Sabrina Carpenter)
I love me some Taylor and Sabrina but what I really like is the theme of this song.
I was in the performing arts for a long ass time and I can so fucking relate to this song.
To be honest … this song made me cry the most. Embracing the fucking chaos of the stage and the rollercoaster that it takes you on. It’s so fucking fun. I’m hoping we get a video for this song or a live performance of it.. it’s sooo good. I don’t know he can’t be played on the radio. Both of them sound fantastic. Lyrically… perfection. Musically.. even better.
Ending this song with the crowd cheering and I believe it’s audio from the Eras Tour which gives us a little kiss on the cheek from Taylor as she ends her story of her life on Tour.

The journey the Eras Tour took us all in. From the Tortured Poet fighting like hell to keep her head above the water to the Showgirl in love and ready for the next adventure what ever that will be. It was a great story and I really liked this album. It may even be in my top 5 Taylor albums. I’m looking forward to see where this album goes and what is coming next. She always makes things fun for her fans. Also… the wedding. I’m really excited for that day to come. Life of A Showgirl Era is definitely a fun- love fest filled with vulnerable lyrics and a cheeky attitude. I’m here for it.

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear what you have to say about the album, video, press, social media chaos, easter eggs, lyrics, your personal stories… I’m here for it.

Thanks for hanging in there on this long one. Have a great week!