On this day, 35 years ago my mother walked in to my room and said “I need to go to the hospital”.

There was a couple sentences exchanged here and there in the next 6 hours , but that was the last sentence I truly remember.

35 years ago, she went into the hospital to die and I would never talk to her again.

She was in and out of consciousness for a couple days but passed on January 4th. As the days get closer and closer to that date… I feel myself slowly slipping into sadness.

She was done with this world and didn’t want to be in it. She had enough of her life. She wasn’t happy. The man she loved was a fucking sick pedophile unfaithful alcoholic monster that treated her like a piece of shit. And it absolutely killed her to face that.

She was so unhappy and life wasn’t fair to her. Yet she was fair to everyone and kind.

I wish I was a little bit older when everything happened. I Would have done things differently for sure.

35 years ago… that seems like a lifetime that I’ve lived without her. Sometimes when the ones you love disappear you don’t realize how much time has gone by because you feel frozen in that moment of time. If you stay frozen there… you can’t forget them.

It’s been proven that I’m pretty forgettable but I wonder if she remembers me.

I would really like if she did .

It would be nice if someone remembered that I’m still here.

I hope she remembers

I am sill here

Please remember