Lost in the tears tonight.

I’ve been thinking so much lately and the silence of not knowing how someone is … is so loud. The honesty in the silence is more honesty than I get in words.. and for that I’m so sad. It’s one thing to sit in the silence but to grieve the silence and the dismissal of being enough for someone’s words… is like a heavy weight, tied to your ankle, pulling you into the depths of the Unkown.

Worry.

It puts you on edge because your mind won’t let it rest. It’s there to put you to sleep at night and drag you out of bed in the morning. You’ll face another day with silence and your thoughts.

Uncertainty.

There is so much of it in the world. It stares us in the face everyday. It taunts us & mocks us. So much uncertainty.

What hurts worse?

Words, actions, or the silence?

When your soul cries out for one word. Some sort of sign….Are you okay?

There is fucking silence.

So I cry. Not because I want to… because it’s the only option I have.

Tonight… sadness will overwhelm me until I fall asleep. Because in dreams, I know how are you are. I hear your voice. I feel your presence. I hear your laugh. I feel your fingers interlock with mine and you tell me how you are. It’s in that dream state that I feel some peace.

The silence is fucking hell. I’ve been sentenced to hell, and I’m not sure what crimes I’m being punished for.

But I’m here… in silence. Worried. Waiting. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about it.

Silence. It’s ….so….. loud.

https://open.spotify.com/track/6NTYphxIdN60YEL8XPomHo?si=deK5y78GQYmYo4hkjM6Gjg